A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara
My Rating: 5/5 Stars
!THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS!
First of all, hello. I've been gone for quite some time. I could say that is because I've been busy making friends and having fun, but in reality, I've merely stopped reading; I simply had nothing to post about. If, by chance, I did pick up a flimsy little book and force my way through it, I didn't care nearly enough to write thoughtful words about it on my blog. Yet, here I am, back in full force (I hope) which is admittedly extremely ironic considering my rebound book of choice...
Ah, yes, A Little Life, infamous in the book community for being heart-wrenching. For the safety and sanity of all my readers, I am going to preface this review by saying that these warnings are completely accurate. I and a dear friend of mine picked up this book in December for the sheer thrill of tempting a book to make us cry. Was this a poor and ill-thought-out idea? Of course. Do I regret reading this book? Possibly. But that was eight-hundred and fourteen pages ago, so there's really no use in wasting any more time in the past. Hence, without further ado, my review of A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara.
This novel is a character study about four boys named Willem, Jude, JB, and Malcolm. Throughout the story, we learn about their backstories, how they met in college, and the rest of their lives proceeding, right up until the very end (and I do mean that literally). I strongly encourage anyone who isn't mentally healthy to resist reading this book, as it is filled with every imaginable trigger. Although these are just words on a page, I found myself connecting to the characters, caring for them, crying for them. There was even a time halfway through where I found myself unable to continue; I had to stop for many months in order to halt the sadness from creeping into my own life.
Because there is no clear plot to this story, there is nothing really for me to comment about it. Yanagihara's writing is beautiful, and I knew from the very beginning that I adored it. I know it sounds strange, but her words reminded me of my own inner voice at times: poetic and flowery but with a slight tinge of sadness, like a clouded field of daisies all alone, the sky that deep mournful color it gets just before a storm. Now you see, I hope, why I had to pace myself with this novel. For your reference, I have included my very favorite quote from the book.
They all ... sought comfort, something that was theirs alone, something to hold off the terrifying largeness, the impossibility, of the world, of the relentlessness of its minutes, its hours, its days.
Most people, when they read this book, say that the worst part of it is the last 100 pages. I had heard countless accounts of how they sobbed reading those last final words when Jude eventually takes his life. At first, when the same didn't happen to me, I felt like a monster. Was I really so broken that I didn't shed a tear over the main character, sweet little Judy's death? However, I realized that I instead felt relief. The entire novel, Jude's entire 53 years, were spent in pain and suffering, in self-harm and self-hatred. And as a reader, we were dragged through this. We were pulled down into the depths of Jude's sexual abuse like the dark depths of the ocean, slowly and exhaustingly so. When Harold narrates the final pages of the novel and recounts Jude's release from the world, I felt at peace. Maybe it was because it was the end of an incredibly sorrowful book, or maybe it was because Jude finally rested, really rested for the first time since the day he was born. Looking back on this mindset, maybe this really does make me a monster.
Altogether, I gave this novel five stars, because, my heavens, it deserved it. Yanagihara is a brilliant writer, and I can't wait to read more of her work. I would like to make myself clear that I do not condone self-harm or suicide in any way shape or form. This is never the answer, and if you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, please seek help. Although my review above might be seen as controversial, I, along with everyone else, was rooting for Jude to get better the entire time. After reading through, I did some reflection and thinking, and the result, well, you read it above.
Till next time my loony readers:)
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